…do you know where I left it? Heh. I wish I did, it's been such a long time since I felt good about my blog, although there's nothing particularly wrong with taking a little break. I guess I've just been avoiding the inevitable; I posted last month that I was feeling re-invigorated about my store, when in all reality I was just trying to convince myself of that. It wasn't true, and I feel pretty terrible admitting it. I was obssessing over all of the success I see in the crafty world these days, and psyching myself up to try and put myself in the midst of that competition; when in all reality it's sort of the last thing I want to do right now.
What I really want to do is close up my Etsy store and regroup. I've never found the kind of success I really wanted there, and I just don't have the energy to try and keep up with the pack. Etsy's an interesting place, because you can get swallowed up so easily. 17,000 pages of jewelry?!?!! That's freaking nuts, especially to try and manage while I'm feeling so conflicted these days. I knew the listings for my tree branch earrings weren't perfect, but I'd hoped that I'd sell at least one pair to someone, somewhere. Ugh, and don't even get me started on the tsumami kanzashi flowers.
Add to that, this time of year is absolutely impossible to photograph anything, because the sun sets at 4PM. It still bugs me, the terrible quality of photos I posted last year with the tree branch earrings tutorial. And my birthday falls on the day after the winter solstice, so it's the day after the day with the least amount of light all year… lucky me, eh? Plus, I'm stressing about Christmas stuff, which always happens on my birthday, which always sucks. I hate that my birthday is 3 days before Christmas, it ends up sucking a lot of the fun out of a day that should be fun-filled.
I wish I had something good to finish this post with. Some small, but healing truth to comfort my soul… but I don't. I'm just so tired of feeling this way, and I wonder when or whether I'll ever feel good about it again. (I hate spilling all of this here, I'd rather share the happier parts of my life. I just don't know how else to satiate the part of my brain that needs to get this out… my husband is a good sounding board, but I don't ever feel comfortable dumping it all on him. Oy!)