Yeah, you're never gonna get it,One of my most, and least favorite songs by Barenaked Ladies. Favorite because I'm a chronic insomniac, and least - because it keeps me up a lot at night. Literally, my brain will just repeat the chorus over, and over again. I'm not sure if that was what kept me up last night, as I worked hard on Friday so I'd sleep well, and I did, (relatively.) Last night though, I was up every 3 hours, and it leaves me feeling so frustrated and irritated that seemingly everyone else can get a good night's sleep. Why can't I? My dog is snoring at me right now...
Who needs sleep?
Tell me, what's that for?
be happy with what you're getting
There's a guy who's been awake
since the second world war.
I have a theory, that it stems from some emotional stuff I've been going through; but how do you talk to someone who won't or can't listen to what you have to say? Someone who denies the very basis of your feelings to the point of total alienation? How do you, if you've built your very existence on the principles and values this person's taught you, cope - when they change the very core of who they are (or at least are to me?)
I wish I could find answers to these questions, as they're probably what plague me each night as I lay awake in bed and try to fall asleep. My mind drifts on how I feel so much less valuable to this person in my life, and how no matter how I try and tell her, she won't or can't hear what I have to say. She's in her own bubble, that I can't even enter, much less burst it. Not that I'd want to shatter someone else's method of coping with hard times in life. But how am I supposed to have a relationship with someone who I can't communicate with, especially on the genuine and real level that I really want.